So, we’ve debated for some time whether or not to write this post.
As you know, Steve and I are actually quite modest people. We don’t wear clothing that draws attention (unless you count a couple of Steve’s Hawaiian shirts) and we often blush at PG-13 movies. However, when we were preparing for our Christmas vacation in the Caribbean this year, I read something about the nude beaches there and what can I say … my first thought was YOLO!
Steve, on the other hand, was not feeling it. He said he was worried a NSFW (not safe for work) photo of him would end up on Instagram. He feared that even with the beauty only an X-Pro II or Valencia filter could deliver, he would be embarrassed if a photo was made public. As we all know, my body is not exactly in the ideal shape for the nude beach, but I’d always thought it could be liberating and I was willing to try anything once. I just didn’t want to go alone.
I brought up the idea at the start of our cruise vacation and our daughter, Meghan, quickly announced, “It’s a big NO for me.” That meant I had only one other person on the trip to ask to join me on this once-in-a-lifetime experience — my dear mother.
She’d been trying lots of new things in her retirement years and I thought she might be game. I planned my “ask” a few days in advance and then settled down at our favorite Martini Bar on Celebrity Summit with the woman who gave me life. We ordered cocktails and I began to encourage her to have another, and then another.
It didn’t take long before she was loosening up a bit and I thought she might be ready for my request. Just as she was finishing off her third Manhattan, I decided to broach the subject. Surprisingly, she didn’t take much convincing at all and even confided she’d often wondered what it be like to visit a nude beach and suggested we do it on the next port of call. I couldn’t believe it!
Mom and I met for breakfast the next morning and although she seemed a bit nervous, I tried to ease her anxiety by commenting that her hair and makeup looked fantastic. No doubt in my mind, she was going to be the hottest great-grandma on the beach that day!
After a lovely breakfast, we packed our beach bags with nothing but sunscreen and a pair of shades. We said adios to Steve and Meghan, who had opted for a far-more conservative deep-sea fishing excursion, and mom and I headed for the beach.
Our cab driver dropped us off near the entrance to the beach and with a little smirk, told us to “have a great day.” As we followed the narrow path, both of us were getting a bit nervous about our first public au naturale experience. Just as we approached the beach area, there was a sign that read, “NOTICE: Beyond this point you may see nude bathers.” It was getting all too real.
Suddenly, a man who appeared to be in his mid-50s, walked toward us wearing nothing but his sandals and a smile and said, “Good morning, ladies.” Mom and I gave each other one last look, said “It’s now or never,” and walked through the hot sand until we found an open space on the beach.
We laid our beach towels in the sand, took off our coverups and began . . .
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ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
DO YOU REALLY THINK I’D GO TO A NUDE BEACH, LET ALONE WITH MY MOM???
As always, thanks for SHARING and not adding any “spoiler” comments on social media.
Thank the heavens it was an April fools joke.
You got me! This was going to be great coffee shop conversation!!
You had me the whole way! LOLOL
You and many, many others. 🙂
This made me laugh so much! I bet we toured the same area two months ago after a Windstar Cruise. We took a taxi to the Dutch side and the driver said he wanted to show us a beautiful beach! He stopped, and said we could look around for 20 minutes. Imagine this conservative person when I saw the sign”nude beach- no photos beyond this point!” We turned to walk the other way but it was too late. I could not UNSEE what I saw. I sure hope they wear sunscreen!
Glad you enjoyed the post. It was a fun one to write! Thanks for following Postcard Jar.
Well played. You knew I’d read it.
Thanks, Travis.
You got me!
Hope you enjoyed it. Happy April Fools’!